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杰罗姆·K.杰罗姆

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《三人同舟》是一部让您领略经典英式幽默的经典喜剧小说，百万销量，经久不衰。

 

《三人同舟》是部让人心情放松的幽默小说，曾被《绅士》杂志评为“史上最幽默的50部文学作品”之一。小说主要围绕一次泛舟之旅展开，充满了夸张、非现实的情节，读来一定会让您捧腹大笑、乐而忘倦。

 

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内容简介：

脑海中，牛肉和鲜奶油草莓看上去也都不高兴，两者都露出闷闷不乐的苦脸。

At six, they came and told him dinner was ready. The announcement aroused no enthusiasm within him, but he felt that there was some of that two-pound-five to be worked off, and he held on to ropes and things and went down. A pleasant odour of onions and hot ham, mingled with fried fish and greens, greeted him at the bottom of the ladder; and then the steward came up with an oily smile, and said: "What can I get you, sir?" 

6点的时候，他们通知他正餐已经备好。他觉得兴味索然，但想到得消化掉这两个半英镑中的一部分，还是抓着绳索东倒西歪地下楼去了餐厅。在楼梯最下面几级迎接他的，是一阵洋葱和热火腿的香风，还夹杂着炸鱼和蔬菜的味道。这时乘务员堆着油腻的微笑走来问道：“先生，请问您想要什么？”

"Get me out of this," was the feeble reply.

“我想要离开这里。”一个微弱的声音回答道。

And they ran him up quick, and propped him up, over to leeward, and left him.

他们迅速地冲过来把他架走，扔到背风面，留他一人，再不理睬。

For the next four days he lived a simple and blameless life on thin captain's biscuits (I mean that the biscuits were thin, not the captain) and soda-water; but, towards Saturday, he got uppish, and went in for weak tea and dry toast, and on Monday he was gorging himself on chicken broth. He left the ship on Tuesday, and as it steamed away from the landing-stage he gazed after it regretfully.

此后4天，他的生活简朴得无可指摘，靠薄船长饼干（“薄”修饰饼干而非船长）和苏打水生存。但是到了星期六，他情况好转，去餐厅享用了淡茶和干吐司。星期一他已经在豪饮鸡汤了。星期二是他离船上岸的日子，当船喷着白烟驶离码头，他充满遗憾地目送它远去。

"There she goes," he said, "there she goes, with two pounds' worth of food on board that belongs to me, and that I haven't had." 

他喃喃地说：“她走了，她走了，带走了属于我的两英镑的食物，我还没有来得及吃呢。

He said that if they had given him another day he thought he could have put it straight.

他说如果能在船上哪怕再多待一天，他就有信心吃回老本。

So I set my face against the sea trip. Not, as I explained, upon my own account. I was never queer. But I was afraid for George. George said he should be all right, and would rather like it, but he would advise Harris and me not to think of it, as he felt sure we should both be ill. Harris said that, to himself, it was always a mystery how people managed to get sick at sea—said he thought people must do it on purpose, from affectation—said he had often wished to be, but had never been able.

所以我坚决反对航海的提议。我解释说，这不是为我自己，我可从不晕船，这是为了乔治着想。乔治说他没有问题，他很赞成这个主意，但建议我和哈里斯千万别动这个念头，因为他很肯定我们两个都会晕船。哈里斯说，对他来说，人们在海上是如何成功晕船的永远是个谜——他觉得人们晕船另有目的，是在装模作样——他常常希望能跻身晕船一族，无奈尚未成功。

Then he told us anecdotes of how he had gone across the Channel when it was so rough that the passengers had to be tied into their berths, and he and the captain were the only two living souls on board who were not ill. Sometimes it was he and the second mate who were not ill; but it was generally he and one other man. If not he and another man, then it was he by himself.

接着他开始讲述自己在滔天波浪中横渡英吉利海峡的故事：风浪很大，乘客们必须被绑在铺位上，船上不晕船的人只有两个，有时是他和船长，有时是他和二副，总之是他加上另一人的组合。如果只有一个人不晕船，那便是他自己了。

It is a curious fact, but nobody ever is sea-sick—on land. At sea, you come across plenty of people very bad indeed, whole boat-loads of them; but I never met a man yet, on land, who had ever known at all what it was to be sea-sick. Where the thousands upon thousands of bad sailors that swarm in every ship hide themselves when they are on land is a mystery.

有这么一个奇怪的现象：在陆地上，所有人都从不晕船。在海上你能够遇到很多晕船的人，一整船一整船的数也数不清。但是在陆地上，我从来没有遇到过哪怕一个尝过晕船滋味的人。成千上万的晕船者们上岸后都藏到什么地方去了，实在是个谜。

If most men were like a fellow I saw on the Yarmouth boat one day, I could account for the seeming enigma easily enough. It was just off South end Pier, I recollect, and he was leaning out through one of the port-holes in a very dangerous position. I went up to him to try and save him.

不过，如果大多数人都和那天我在去雅茅斯的船上遇到的那个伙计一样，我就能轻易地解开这个看似费解的谜。记得那是刚离开绍森德码头的当儿，这伙计用一种相当危险的姿势靠在舷窗上，半个身子已经探了出去。我走上前去试图救他。

"Hi! come further in," I said, shaking him by the shoulder. "You'll be overboard." 

“嘿，进来点，”我摇着他的肩膀说，“你这样会翻下船的。”

"Oh my! I wish I was," was the only answer I could get; and there I had to leave him.

“天知道我多么想下去。”这是我得到的唯一一句答复。 无可奈何中我只得走开了。

Three weeks afterwards, I met him in the coffee-room of a Bath hotel, talking about his voyages, and explaining, with enthusiasm, how he loved the sea.

3个星期后，我在一家温泉旅社的咖啡室和他重逢时，他正吹嘘着自己的旅行经历，并且热烈地抒发他对航海的热爱。

"Good sailor!" he replied in answer to a mild young man's envious query; "well, I did feel a little queer ONCE, I confess. It was off Cape Horn. The vessel was wrecked the next morning." 

“我是不晕船的！”他如此回答一位温和的年轻人带着忌妒的提问，“当然，我承认有那么一次感到有点不舒服。那是离开好望角的时候，第二天早上船就出事了。”

I said: "Weren't you a little shaky by Southend Pier one day, and wanted to be thrown overboard?" 

我说：“那天离开绍森德码头时你不是稳不住了想要跳船么？”

"Southend Pier!" he replied, with a puzzled expression.

“绍森德码头？”他一脸困惑。

"Yes; going down to Yarmouth, last Friday three weeks." 

“是的，3个星期前的星期五，去雅茅斯的船上。”

"Oh, ah—yes," he answered, brightening up; "I remember now. I did have a headache that afternoon. It was the pickles, you know. They were the most disgraceful pickles I ever tasted in a respectable boat. Did YOU have any?" 

“噢，嗯——是啊，”他茅塞顿开，“我记起来了。那天下午我确实挺难受的。要知道都怪泡菜，那真是我在一艘体面轮船上吃过的最不堪的泡菜。你一点都没吃么？”

For myself, I have discovered an excellent preventive against seasickness, in balancing myself. You stand in the centre of the deck, and, as the ship heaves and pitches, you move your body about, so as to keep it always straight. When the front of the ship rises, you lean forward, till the deck almost touches your nose; and when its back end gets up, you lean backwards. This is all very well for an hour or two; but you can't balance yourself for a week.

就我个人来说，我发现保持平衡是一个很好的预防晕船的办法。站在甲板正中，当船升起又落下时，你转动身体，以保证身体是直的。当船头升起时，往前倾，直到甲板几乎撞到你的鼻子；当船尾升起时，往后倾。但这样坚持一两个小时还行，一个星期是不可能的。

George said: "Let's go up the river." 

乔治说：“让我们去河上泛舟吧。”

He said we should have fresh air, exercise and quiet; the constant change of scene would occupy our minds (including what there was of Harris's); and the hard work would give us a good appetite, and make us sleep well.

他说，我们可以享受到新鲜空气、运动和安静；不断变换的景色可以填满我们的大脑（如果说哈里斯的那点也能称作脑子的话）；辛苦的体力劳动可以给我们好胃口和好睡眠。

Harris said he didn't think George ought to do anything that would have a tendency to make him sleepier than he always was, as it might be dangerous.

哈里斯说他认为乔治不应该做任何有可能改善睡眠的事情，因为那将是危险的，他一直都太能睡了。

He said he didn't very well understand how George was going to sleep any more than he did now, seeing that there were only twenty-four hours in each day, summer and winter alike; but thought that if he DID sleep any more, he might just as well be dead, and so save his board and lodging.

他说无法理解乔治如何将比现在睡得更多，要知道无论春夏秋冬，一天总也超不出24小时。但他也设想了万一乔治真能睡得更久，那样还不如死了省出房钱和饭费。

Harris said, however, that the river would suit him to a "T." I don't know what a "T" is (except a sixpenny one, which includes bread-and butter and cake ADLIB., and is cheap at the price, if you haven't had any dinner). It seems to suit everybody, however, which is greatly to its credit.

然而哈里斯说，他中意乘舟游河的主意，犹如中意T一样。我不知道T是什么东西（除了一种6便士的T，也就是茶，喝这种茶附送无限量自取的黄油面包和蛋糕，对没吃饭的人来说，这个价钱相当公道）。这东西好像每个人都中意，盛名远扬。

It suited me to a "T" too, and Harris and I both said it was a good idea of George's; and we said it in a tone that seemed to somehow imply that we were surprised that George should have come out so sensible.

它也让我中意得犹如T一样。哈里斯和我都说乔治提的是个好主意，我们的语气似乎在暗示我们很惊讶乔治也能有这样的才智。

The only one who was not struck with the suggestion was Montmorency. He never did care for the river, did Montmorency.

这个建议唯一没法打动的是蒙特莫伦西，它从不喜欢河流，不像与它同名的那位著名将军。

"It's all very well for you fellows," he says; "you like it, but I don't. There's nothing for me to do. Scenery is not in my line, and I don't smoke. If I see a rat, you won't stop; and if I go to sleep, you get fooling about with the boat, and slop me overboard. If you ask me, I call the whole thing bally foolishness." 

“对你们倒是好得很，”它说，“你们喜欢这主意，可我不喜欢。我没有什么可做的。我既不爱看风景，也不爱抽烟。我看见一只老鼠，你们不停下；如果我想睡觉，你们又在船上闹腾，把我晃下船去。要问我的看法，我得说这是一个彻头彻尾的蠢主意。”

We were three to one, however, and the motion was carried.

可是我们是3比1，于是这提议顺利地通过了表决。